Guidelines for 'Speaking in Remembrance of the Deceased'

The Order of Christian Funerals (OCF) provides that a member or friend of the family may speak briefly in remembrance of the deceased after the Communion Prayer and before the Final Commendation.

• Parishes are to develop clear and helpful pastoral practices regarding ‘speaking in remembrance of the deceased’.
• ‘Words of remembrance’ at the Funeral Mass are to be respected as an option within the rite. In some circumstances it may be preferable that only the liturgical celebrant need to speak.
• There should be only one person to speak rather than a series of speakers.
• The reflection should be about the deceased person’s human qualities (including their life of faith), and how these qualities can inspire the hearers.
• The words of remembrance should speak honestly and compassionately, reflecting the circumstances of the life of the deceased.
• The reflection should be of reasonable length (say no more than 5-7 minutes).
• The reflection should be written out ahead of time and where possible reviewed with the celebrant beforehand.
• Pastors should suggest that the storytelling, anecdotes, poems songs, etc., can well form part of the Vigil Service or be used in a domestic situation.

A Suggested Approach to Preparing the Words of Remembrance

1. Characteristics and qualities of the life of the deceased and how these may reflect the deceased’s life of faith or be of inspiration to the hearers.
2. How can this person be best remembered.
3. How our relationship with this person is maintained even in death and how we look forward to meeting again.